Confidence: Day ??

To conclude Confidence (almost a month behind), I have three areas of confidence that I've been thinking about.

First, confidence has a lot to do with appearance. Maybe it shouldn't, but I think it does for almost everyone at some point. I'm not very good at feeling confident in my appearance. I discovered a while ago that I could be pretty. And the reason I'm not pretty is just because I don't try very hard. I've never learned how to try hard. I think I went to a Mary Kay party in high school, and I remember some little gathering of girls to determine our best colors. But beyond that, I got quick (and not very good) lessons in make-up application and hair styling from my mom.

When my daughter is ready for these things (which will probably be before I'm ready for her to be ready...), I will actually do something about it. I will take her to Macy's and let someone at a make-up counter teach her what to do. I'll take her to a stylist and let them help her find the best style for her hair type (heck, she could use that now). I'll tell her about eyebrow shaping (something I didn't learn till college). I'll be up on current clothing styles (even if I won't allow them all in my house). I won't be afraid to shop at Gap Kids or Limited Too (although the bulk of her wardrobe will come from Target!). My mom was afraid of Dayton's. Although I don't want her appearance to be the most important thing to my daughter (like those Alpha girls), I don't want it to stand in the way of her confidence in these other areas:

Presence is closely related to appearance, but not the same thing. If you're not confident that you look good, it's very difficult to walk into a room confidently. But there are also those who feel they look good, but still aren't confident in a crowd. Maybe these are Betas. I want my daughter to be confident to walk into a room with poise. She doesn't need to be the prettiest girl in the room, or command the attention of everyone there; I just don't want her to hide in the shadows and hope no one sees her. I have no idea how to teach this one, since it's something I have a hard time with myself. Her dad is better at this; maybe he can teach us both.

The last area I thought of is Confidence in One's Abilities. This sort of has nothing to do with the other two, but think of those anti-social people who know they're really good at something. I don't want her to be like that either. But I do want her to feel that she's good at things, and to be confident about sharing those abilities. Humility is good, but not when it's fake, and not when it's covering a real desire to be noticed. I want to give her the confidence to have true humility. And I think the way to do that is to not just compliment her (my dad does that and it's just total cheese), but to ask her to make things using her talent, or to encourage her to teach others (or ME), or to join her in the activity so she can be better than I am. And I should work on not getting frustrated with myself and my creative failures.

So that's what I have to say on Confidence. This was one that I was really worried about; but I think I've learned a lot. I think that's why it's taken me almost 2 months to get through it.