Confidence: Day 15

I think I've hit a turning point on this topic. The timing is incredible.

See, a few years ago, I had just started a job with kids. It was at a huge school, with lots of kids, and lots of staff. One of the staff, Linda, had my job title but a little different job discription. And she'd been there for years. She knew how everything should work and what wouldn't work at all. She got very good at micro-managing EVERYTHING! Another co-worker and I were always frustrated by that, and could never figure out how to deal with it.

That summer, a staff who had been there a few years before and left to teach, came back to work with us. Linda didn't affect her. At all. And not because Linda didn't try. This other staff (it's driving me crazy that I can't remember her name) just never let it touch her. She laughed at it, and was so far above it that it all seemed so petty to me.

It was refreshing to see that, and yet I somehow couldn't follow her lead.

I'm ready now.


I'm ready to let go of the desire for my parents to understand me. I'm ready to forget all the little infractions they've committed against me. I'm ready to stop trying to explain myself to them.

It saddens me that I couldn't get through to them. I tried. But when it's an unspoken rule that confrontation should be avoided at all costs, there is no time or place to bring these things up. We tried email, my husband tried conversation. But it was always an argument and never a discussion. I have long given up on trying to explain things point-blank. But I was sort of hoping we could get there with little comments or small actions.

Obviously, that's not working. I never should have thought that it would. So now, I'm getting beyond that. Maybe I'm giving up. But maybe that's not a bad thing.


What I'm finding as I contemplate this, is that it's going to take some serious Confidence. I don't think that 17 more days is going to be enough. But it will focus the Independence element of this month. And, Discipline may be the perfect thing to follow this up with.